So far i have to say- the hardest thing about wedding planning really is putting the guest list together.  I had no idea my fiance and i had such big families- but on both sides it really added up.  Our, “perfect” number was around 150- somehow we ended up with close to 180.  Lets face it- when it comes to the guest list- there are certain, “obligations.”  I’ve had to make some really hard decisions and just hope that those who i may have offended by not inviting will understand (but lets be real- it sucks!)

Looking back on it maybe i should have given both sets of parents more guidelines when it comes to their lists- but you don’t want to offend them either!

One thing that has helped is that we made it clear to ourselves and to our families that this would be an, “adults only” reception.  Kids can definitely add up but by putting that out there (and eventually on the invitation) that’s cut down on the count.

There are some, “guidelines” TheKnot and many other wedding blogs go by:

Rule #1 If neither of you have spoken to, met or heard their name before.
Rule #2 Is their bedtime before 9 p.m.? They’ll miss the cake cutting anyway, so don’t feel bad about nixing all the under-12-year-olds.
Rule #3 If neither of you has spoken to them in three years and they’re not related to you.
Rule #4 Anyone who’s on the list because you feel guilty about leaving them off, maybe because you were invited to their wedding or they’re friends with lots of people who are invited.

If you have to have,”tough” convos with certain people- put it out there before Save the Dates or invites go out so they don’t find out through a friend; that’s pretty impersonal and will make for an awkward conversation the next time that you see them.  Honesty is ALWAYS best- so shoot them a text or give them a call and explain the situation.  Sure- it’s awkward- but if they are a true friend- they will understand.